HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE??!!!

 

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the

menu that said you could have an order of 6, 9 or

12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen

nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said

the teenager at the counter. "You don't???" I

replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was

the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets,

but I can order six??? "That's right."So I shook

my head and ordered six McNuggets.

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I was checking out at the local Foodland with just

a few items and the lady behind me put her things

on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those

"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and

placed it between our things so they wouldn't get

mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,

she picked up the divider,looking it all over for

the barcode so she could scan it. Not finding the

bar code, she said to me "Do you know how much

this is?" I said, "I've changed my mind, I don't

think I'll buy that today".She said "OK" and I

paid her for the things and left. She had no clue

what had just happened.

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A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into

her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When asked what she was doing, she said she was

shopping on the internet and they asked for a

creditcard number, so she was using the "ATM

thingy".

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I recently saw a distraught young lady weepin

beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the

battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't

get into my car.

Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient

store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I

dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No,

just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it

and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door,

I said,"Why don't you drive over there and check

about the batteries? It's a long walk."

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Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too

swift. One day she was typing and turned to a

secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.

What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the

secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank

piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier and

proceeded to make five copies.

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I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large

motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the

vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing

generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked

the manager what had happened. He told me that the

driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in

the back to make a sandwich.

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Sign in a petrol station:

Coke -- 48 cents. Two for a dollar.

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My neighbor works in the operations department in the

central office of a large bank. Employees in the field

call him when they have problems with their computers.

One night he got a call from a woman in one of the

branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke

coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have

a fire downtown?"

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I was sitting in my science class when the teacher

commented that the next day would be the shortest day

of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited,

cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the

amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of

time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

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